NSV Bought some GAP Really Skinny Pants

Hi I bought some GAP REALLY SKINNY PANTS...actually that is their name...  Have you heard of vanity sizing?  I think these pants have a VANITY NAME.  Of course when they fit, I had to buy the the pants called REALLY SKINNY PANTS...because they made me feel really skinny!!!

To be totally honest, I don't look like the pic...I have a little bit of muffin but I think they will be comfortable in another week or two.  I just count it a blessing that I'm looking better and am improving my health everyday.

I missed blogging...you will hear more from me as soon as I finish these documents and have them shipped to the client on Wed.

How some words can be magical...

A friend wrote me an email (who knows nothing about my surgery, who is very thin focused) saying, BTW, you are looking very slim lately!  Words like this are so motivating for me.  Made me run a couple laps in my corporate office this weekend...(yes I'm trapped in my office and I can't get out).  I've been working 50+ hours for 3 weeks and when I'm busy, I'm very unaware of taking care of myself.  But the band is my safety net.  It keeps me from binging.  I'm not perfect and when I'm under stress I don't take great care of myself but I'm a lot better. But I realize that I've internalized some good long term habits.  If I keep it up I'll be fine in the long run.

Keep it up...Thank you friends...I've missed you...I'm going to try to keep up now that we are turning in our massive documents Wed.  The final drafts are done and look pretty good.

Something Helpful...No more meals

Hi, I needed something to jump start my weight loss and it has been eating small nutritious snacks every two hours...no more "meals"...it's helped my energy and my digestion too.

How do you pace your eating during the day?

I'm working like crazy...trying to create a work balance...

Miss you guys and coming up for air

I am conducting a conference and I've been working like crazy...not gaining but not losing.  Today I went into the office at 4:30 am and just got back at 6 pm...this is some of the stuff I'm dealing with:

• A colleague who is not doing work but taking credit for mine.  I'm unsure what his issues are but he has several advanced degrees from good colleges but has a hard time doing client "ready" work
• My boss is aware of his short comings but has a had a "hard time" breaking him loose because he has a family etc
• Today at the conference he thank me "Nancy" for all my hard work.  A colleague corrected him and reminded him of my real name
• Me and another colleague are picking up his extra work.
• My boss is inexperienced and has OCD (not joking)...not fun 

I like what I do but  in addition to issues with people the work has been technically very hard and challenging. 

The stress and unfairness of it drives me crazy. I need to recollect energy for myself and my health.

Loved Manda Panda's wake up call and loved the Boobs updates...I also love you dear friends who write sweet and encouraging and uplifting things.

So I have not been blogging because I've been tired and wiped!

Feeling Unworthy at my Band anniversary and Still FAT!

My band anniversary came and went 9/15.  I was deluged with work 10 hour work days, busy afternoon/evening/weekends filled with kid activities.  I have lost weight and I am smaller than last year and I am healthier, but: I'M STILL FAT and not at my ideal BMI.  There are no cute pics with size 6 pants on.  The Gastric Bypass and Gastric Sleeve patients in our practice that had surgery the same time I did are a lot smaller.  Many are smaller than me.  I do have thyroid issues and am officially going through menopause.  My surgery office said they are surprised I was able to lose weight.  But still...I was feeling low and defeated during my anniversary.  But I'm back and I've amped up my exercise which kind of stopped during my heavy work schedule during the summer.  I'm eating more cleanly...the 2nd year will be the year that I reach GOAL...So that explains my little break from blogging...just felt down and unworthy!  I'm glad to be back and to read about your successes and your thoughts...

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PS thank you for your sweet notes!  A disclaimer...the band does work...I was just hoping to be done and finished and thin forever.  But I realize that even when I do reach my ideal BMI, maintenance will be a life long journey.  I just wanted to be done and in maintenance right now. 

I went Boogie Boarding on the Beach

I put on a swim suit, went to the beach, played in the water and even boogie boarded.  My sons were stunned.  They both said, "we have never seen you put on a swim suit at the beach".  My body is not perfect but it is getting more healthy and I feel more comfortable with myself.  That is my NSV for the day.

TLC: The Big Sexy

This show show cases 4 heavy women who are happy with their large bodies and who know how to "work" it.  I'm being completely honest, I never felt really high self esteem at my highest weight...I never felt attractive...I felt so unhealthy...Maybe its being in in DC and in a firm and community where most people have really low body fat and are very health conscious? Maybe its being Asian and in a family and social circle where the average pant size of my female relatives and friends is size 4.   I felt proud of myself and my accomplishments and my parenting but I never felt like I could "work it".  On one level I really fear for these women because obesity is so dangerous...but on one level I really admire their self confidence.  What do you think?

I'm in Sandbridge VA...the weather has been gorgeous I'm glad we didn't cancel...there has been relatively little damage.  The beach front place we are staying is gorgeous...and more importantly we have had such wonderful family time together.

Hope you are well.