My Banded Time

Sunday, June 19, 2011

Long Way To Go Ho Hum

I was just talking to my mom (part of my thin and glamorous family) and she commended me on my losses but she told me that I need to stick with it because I have a long way to go.  I don't want people to lie to me, but I am so sensitive about my weight.  I don't think she will be content till I'm a size 6 and going to sample sales.

11 comments:

  1. Rachel, I so understand this mother/daughter dynamic. My mother is a competitive dieter and it's ingrained in her to make remarks like the one your mom made. Ouch. She's currently doing an almost no-carb plan and, predictably, is losing quickly--but I've found I can't maintain that way of eating... I only want to lose weight eating the way I can eat the rest of my life. Sustainable healthy habits, that's my mantra. So I'm going about my business, counting calories on my English muffin while my mom shoots me looks. You just do what's right for you. I'm trying hard to be happy/content NOW rather than "when I'm size whatever" because, as they say, life is not a dress rehearsal---whether the dress is size 16 or size 6!

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  2. I wish she hadn't said that, sweetie. People don't realize comments like that are definitely counterproductive. :(

    I think she probably thinks because she's your mom she can get away with being a little too honest, but I'd let her know how it makes you feel. Finding your voice is what this journey is all about, too!

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  3. I think when it comes to weight and our moms - we are over-sensitive no matter what they say. I do the same thing...if she says ANYthing about it - I react badly and take it to heart...when I know she didn't probably mean to hurt me. It's a catch 22. Hang in there.

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  4. People don't realize how hurtful words can be! In the end our self esteem must come from within us and we can be dependant on what others say or think. You should be so proud of choosing to change your life and so proud of your progress. Try not to take the comment to heart...you rock!

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  5. Next time that comment comes up, either from her or from inside your head (now that it's planted there), instead remember that You've Come a Long Way.

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  6. Geez, that's not a nice thing to be reminded of.

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  7. Just what you needed to hear! Sorry that you're hurt, you're doing fantastically!

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  8. Every once in a while my mom makes comments like that as well. But she has battled with her weight (but never like me) most of her adult life.

    It isn't a nice thing to say but remember that you are the one that has to be pleased. So when you are happy with how you feel then don't worry about what her goal for you might be!!

    You are doing so well. Ignore the naysayers

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  9. Ugh. I hate comments like that. My grandmother is queen of the backhanded compliment. When I was 12 (yes, 12!), my grandmother said "You're not as fat as the last time I saw you!" Gee...thanks.

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  10. As parents, we all want the bestest and the mostest for our children - sometimes, unfortunately, in our desire to "help" them, we say things that are careless and hurtful - well meaning things, but things that have not been clearly thought out all the way.. I know that your Mom's comment hurt you - as it would have hurt me - but please keep remembering why you're doing this and always celebrate the fact that you're succeeding!

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  11. I understand the sensitivity 100% -- the other day my (thin & in great shape) brother made some passing vague comment about "yeah, just don't regain all that weight!" and it cut me to the core...partly because hearing my own fear verbalized is scary and partly because he knows how hard I work at my weight (we live in the same house!) and I just would rather hear an encouraging comment...it felt negative. Don't let it get you down though! You are doing so great!!

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