Now about the Fat Attack. Today I was talking to my sister...she is a good sister, an attorney, a mom...I was disagreeing with her on something and suddenly it came out, an attack to my jungular..."No one's perfect, like look at you...YOU NEED TO LOSE at least 85 lbs and are by no means perfect!!!!". She knew weight is the thing that makes me feel the most vulnerable and ashamed and that her comment would shut me down. Being a trial attorney, the execution was excellent and sucker punched me. Ironically, she is not thin...she has gained 40 lbs since getting married but she has positive body dysmorphia; she feels much thinner than she is. OK but the moral of the story is that this sucker punch validated my reasons for having surgery so that I could address my weight issues and get rid of this Achilles Heel once and for all. I want to feel healthy and strong; but from a human level I don't want to be vulnerable to these attacks. I know I'm a grown up and have a great life and these things should not get to me, but they do.
She hasn't seen me since my surgery since she lives across the country so I look forward to protecting myself from these attacks in the future from her and society in general because to be honest, there is a lot of fat discrimination, even from kind people. People who don't know you and people who know you hold prejudices in their minds and misjudge and misunderstand you. I want to give myself the fairest shot there is.
Boo Hoo
You are right...we ALLOW ourselves to be vulnerable and sensitive to "Fat Attacks".. I do not think you are alone. The good thing is that you have recognized this... But even more important, YOU ARE DOING SOMETHING ABOUT IT..
ReplyDelete.and it may be true that the directed comment was put out there so that it "smarted" to end the discussion. BUT what she doesn't know just yet is that you can change the game, so that those comments will no longer be valid..Try to recognize that the day will be coming soon where any comments about weight will no longer work...
And the good thing about sisters.. you will always be there for on another..
You go girl!! The look on her face when she sees you next will be priceless - can we get a shot of that one? :)
ReplyDeleteP.S. I've nominated you for a "Stylish Blogger" award! Go check it out on my blog :)
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You are sooo right.. How often do we not only take the punches from others - we expect them. Now is the time to just stand firm in the knowledge that we are doing something about it, and we're not going to just sit there and wait for the punches to happen! I love your attitude!
ReplyDeleteGREAT POST!!!!!
Fat Attacks can be hard to deal with :(
ReplyDeleteI've nominated you for a "Stylish Blogger" award!
I'm sorry, hun. Fat attacks are the worst!
ReplyDeleteI nominated you for the Stylish Blogger award as well.
Wow, I understand that people are insensitive to people's feelings, and heavy people are often the victims of such insensitive torts, but they aren't suppose to come from family.
ReplyDeleteI had been on the fence about the band for a while until I went home and my grandma said to me at dinner one night when I put gravy on my potatoes "do you really need that?" It clicked that I needed to get the weight off not just for my health but so I could take control of how people saw me. So sorry you had to hear that from your sister.
ReplyDeleteOh wow. These attacks can come out of nowhere and I'm sorry but if my sister laid that out just to end an argument, we'd be having an old fashioned fist fight ala teeneage years. Anyway, I feel these attacks can come even when people are trying to be "nice"...a girl I work with gave me a take out menu and said "Look! They have salads!" Egad.
ReplyDeleteThat attack was more brutal coming from your sister and I'm sorry you had to deal with it. I too have a good sisiter who is a mom and a trial attorney and when we fight she can talk circles around me (and there are very few in the world who can do that). It's as if it's ingrained in her to win the argument - not to have the discussion. Take solace in at least that fact - I don't think they mean it personally, I truly think she just needs to win - it's how she spends an awful lot of her days (at least that's true with my sister).
ReplyDeleteI too nominated you for an award, come see!
Ouch! Why is it the people we love are the ones that really take the low blows? :(
ReplyDelete