One thing I realize is that succeeding at weight loss means addressing the things that made me gain weight...for me frankly it was S-T-R-E-S-S!!!! Thanks to the band, I can't eat away my stress...thanks to the painful consequences (girls you know what I'm talking about: wild projectile vomitting, abdominal pain etc). I ask myself how I could have gained 60 lbs in the last 13 years and it is easy...I really ate my stress away. Lately I'm just facing things more...now that is a beautiful thing. It is messy and more difficult but its been a great thing and a healthy thing.
Facing Conflict-I shared that I had a colleague who told me in an open forum that he wished we could rewrite our client deliverables in "Good English". I just told him directly that the clients loved the work we gave them and there was no need. I took the time to explain myself and the things I did. The old me would eat away the stress and then just explode one day when the stress and anger got too bad. Really I was like an overweight tea pot.
Facing Hysteria-My project lead has been having contentious fights with a co worker. They have gone for each others throats...The horrible thing is they come to me for advice and stopped talking directly to each other and through me. I just told both that they need to talk directly to each other. I don't know why but I would never have said that pre band. If emotions get too uncomfortable I just avoid them.
Obsessing About the Kids-Everything related to the kids made me worry. I married late, had kids late, didn't get pregnant right away. The kids are obviously very precious to me and everything related to them: their friends, their diets, their school, their activities...I was very pre occupied with it. I think it is a control issue and I think as they get older that is not necessarily healthy. They are actually doing very well in school and are well liked etc. But I spent a lot of sleepless nights worrying about them. And I think that added to my stress. I'm really not sure where this comes from but since getting the band, I worry less.
I think this one goes to my perfectionism...kids are people and can't be perfect and you can't create a perfect life for them.
I'm very curious how you handle the things which made you eat.
The band helps and BLOGGING to you folks helps a lot too.
This is it exactly. While the band can, I think, help us not gain weight - the only thing that will truly help us in the long haul is addressing the mental things that made us fat in the first place. I don't think I have a full handle on it yet, but I do know that I am more present now and I'm more honest and true about my feelings - and there's no way that's not a good thing. Great post!
ReplyDeleteI can not tell a lie. I still eat when stressed. Just not as much...and not the bad stuff. That's because I don't bring it in the house.
ReplyDeleteI'm proud of you for facing things head on. I'm glad the band has given you that courage.
I still eat when I'm stressed, just not as much. Also I don't really keep a lot of "bad" food in the house so it limits what I can stress-eat on. I also do my best just to get rid of the stress, however I can.
ReplyDeleteI don't think I'm a stress eater so much as a bored eater! I don't do that like before. I'm glad you are finally standing up for yourself and finding your voice!
ReplyDeleteI am still searching for why I gained so much weight. If you asked me I don't think I would say a stress eater. Probably mostly when I was bored like Wallflower up there. But the more I think post band I think maybe I was a stress eater. I really think my problem is with eating to quickly. Like my mind is telling me there isn't going to be enough. Free for all right now and get as much as you can. I fight this every day. Especially at dinner. Trying to take bites while I am cooking. Somedays are great others are not.
ReplyDeleteSo far, the band has helped me to realize I am a stress eater. I never thought I was before I was banded. It seems right now I take out my stress on my hubby. That can't be good for the marriage.
ReplyDeleteMy problem is boredom too. When I'm doing something fun, I don't think about food at all until my stomach growls. When I'm bored...especially at work...I could eat all day long.
ReplyDeleteIf we're being honest, I cry alot to help relieve stress. Or I hang out with friends, or drink. Probably not the best ways to handle it, but it gets me through the bad stuff. So I think you're awesome to handle it in such great ways. :)
ReplyDeleteI am so proud of the way you're walking through this journey.. You're taking life head on and working through things rather than finding ways to deal with them.
ReplyDeleteI too eat when I'm bored - I tend to eat nothing while stressed, which is almost as unhealthy as overeating, because when the stress has passed I eat way too much (and mostly unhealthy) because I am famished!