My Banded Time

Saturday, March 5, 2011

A Realization That Losing Weight is Healing my Mind and Body

Hello Friends... I've been out of commission because my kids had an intense flu and at the same time I was preparing and then gave a 3 day presentation to our client.  I'm glad the week is over and I'm glad that the kids are well and that the presentation was successful.

Losing weight has been helping me perceive and view things in a healthier way and I'm so glad.


Work: 
During the presentation, I realized WLS has really helped me out of a career slump.  My performance evaluations have always been good...I'm a perfectionist and I value the fact that I work hard.  I've even received financial bonuses and professional kudos for my work but in my mind the weight always brought me down.  I have been so unhappy during junctures of my career and I know it was the albatross of my weight.  Until recently, I used to really feel the need to overcompensate for my weight.  I'd have to be the funny management consultant, the one who went extremely above and beyond for my client and my bosses, and I'd work killer hours; but these things did not make me happy at all and I think they were in fact handicapping and ironically unnecessary to achieve any type of success.  After WLS, I feel comfortable in my skin and can actually feel normal/professional in front of my peers and clients.  I actually can dress up and feel good again versus weird and awkward because I can't find nice things to wear.  I don't feel any pressure to be super funny and kind and accommodating to over compensate for the shame I felt about being obese.  I feel more confident about speaking out and not agreeing with everyone.  The excess weight was sapping my confidence.  But I can say that this last presentation was one of the most successful and I'm doing work I really love. 



Life: No More Hiding
I've been blessed with really great friends/family in my life; but I've been making so many excuses in recent years to avoid special occasions and get togethers when I know people will be there that might notice my weight gain or who knew me well during skinnier days.  It sounds so paranoid and illogical.  I truly think my friends and family don't care or perceive things the way that I do.  But a lot of my friends/family are really thin, very health and fashion conscious.   But losing some weight has relieved that self consciousness and its brought back the joy of being with people. 

7 comments:

  1. What a great post. So proud of you for coming into your own in such a big way. :)

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  2. I wonder if I've done the same kinds of things with my career? Reading your description of your work ethic struck a cord with me...one that I've never noticed. Hmm. Thanks for the food for thought!

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  3. So glad things are going well.

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  4. Rachel, just catching up on blogs and as I read your posts I think it could be me writing them! I can't wait to meet you - I think you are going to the brunch on the 20th.

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  5. Great progress on the emotional front!

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