My Banded Time

Saturday, March 5, 2011

WLS Etiquette 101: What to do if you think your overweight friend has lost weight...

Tonight I went out with a friend I haven't seen in 6 months...the last time she saw me was a week before surgery.  We sat down to dinner and started talking and as we finished the entree...she asked me sheepishly..."Rachel...have you been losing weight lately?"  I laughed...and told her I was actually wondering if she noticed since she is a nurse...she said she could tell as I walked toward her in the parking lot that I had lost a lot of weight but she didn't want to embarrass me, as if to imply that I had a weight problem or issue...I laughed and laughed.  My weight has been a HUGE pink elephant in the room in the last year...where I was so obviously overweight and unhealthy.. Similarly,  I had lunch with a friend yesterday and she also shyly asked if I had been losing weight...And it was the same logic...she didn't want to embarrass me by implying that I had a problem I needed to address.  I told both friends that I didn't mind them noticing and actually appreciate people noticing.I told her the proper etiquette if you suspect weight loss it to be as blatant as possible and that the recipient would 99.9% of the time appreciate it.

I walked to the mailbox today and my blunt but loving neighbor said, "RACHEL, LOSING WEIGHT????  LOOOOOOKING GREAT~!"  That is the kind of etiquette I can live with.

So according to me and probably Emily Post...if your overweight friend looks thinner...TELL THEM!!!!  you will make their day and justify the value of their struggles...

11 comments:

  1. Yes.. I so agree.. it boosts the ego and MOTIVATES you and confirms that what you are doing is working.. Once those compliments start coming in.. watch out.. the gates are going to open wide.. its all good and you should soak up the props!! hugs sweetie.

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  2. You are absolutely right! It can only make a friend smile!

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  3. How wonderful you're getting all these comments!!!

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  4. wahoo for you :)..I agree I like it most of the time.



    xxxooo

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  5. Amen sister! My husband's family has not said a WORD and I've lost more than 80 lbs. It's like "do they not notice?" I think it's more disheartening if people DON'T than if they do. :)

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  6. A lot of people do this, my Dad's lovely girlfiend didn't say anything about my 50 pound weightloss until I mentioned something after which she never stopped talking about it!

    As much as I like to hear people say I have lost weight I also get a bit embarrassed too!

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  7. AMEN! So great! :) Only one person so far has really noticed my loss and it was my best friend's little sister. Craziness. LOL I can't wait til neighbors start yelling at me from across the street. I wouldn't mind my good-looking male neighbors noticing. ;)

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  8. Always nice to hear compliments. You deserve them.

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  9. I agree, I love to hear a compliment. Makes you wonder what they think when they don't say anything.

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  10. Totally! As if we weren't aware of our weight problem and that people could see us! I love getting the compliments even though I get a little embarrassed. I'm learning how to just say "thank you" and move on.

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  11. I like when people comment on my weight loss when the scale hasn't moved at all...in weeks! Apparently those plateaus really are good for toning up muscle ;).

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