My Banded Time

Thursday, October 14, 2010

Changing my Reactions to Criticism

I will make my long story short...when I went in for my pre op testing, they found a large tumor on my thyroid and then two smaller ones.  After some testing my endocrinologist and ent said the best course of action was removing my whole thyroid.  It wasn't news I wanted to hear but eventually after research and talking to doctors, I realized that removing my thyroid would help my sleeping (it is currently bending my trachea off to the side and probably explains my sleep apnea ) and indirectly the MDs said it might improve my weight loss efforts since I'll be better rested and since my hormone levels would be stable.  My dad calls and tells me that if I hadn't over eaten sugar and diet drinks; I probably wouldn't have this problem.  He also said if I had actually exercised hard I probably wouldn't have my current weight problem or thyroid condition.  Considering the fact that I'm scared my impending thyroidectomy and taking medication the rest of my was not a lecture I wanted to hear.

Even at the age of 46, talking to my dad sends off triggers and I feel like a teenager.  Agggh...he always tells me he loves me etc but he is overly critical too.  It always upsets me to talk to him.  He is one person I would never tell about the band. 

Although he always upsets me, he makes me so appreciative of:

1)  My husband and his unconditional love and thoughtfulness.
2) The fact that I've been able to create a family life with my husband and kids that is much healthier than my family of origin.
3) The lap band surgery that is bringing me closer to a better health state every day. 
4)  The fact that pre op testing discovered my thryoid condition and that surgery will improve my sleep and overall functioning.
5)  The health insurance my firm provided which provided me with the coverage to get the band.

 Thanks for listening...I'm trying to see the blog as a little bit of therapy everyday. 


  1. Rachel, Rachel, Rachel,
    You are oh so right about blogging being therapeutic. In fact, just writing or journaling is one of the steps towards healing after experiencing any type of life event.. getting the emotions out there and facing them is key. Now .. you listed some good points, I would also list that your decision to have WLS also lead you to your prep op exam that was key to identifying an medical issues.
    So I see all positives.. as far as negative triggers, this to is part of realizing what sets you off (and perhaps causes you to turn to food). Journaling or blogging allows us to get it out there and deal with it.. so bravo.. you are taking a step in the right direction

  2. Hi Rachel!
    Linda sent me your way. I look forward to following your progress and sharing in this crazy journey with you!

  3. Hi Rachel! Linda also sent me your way. Don't let dads comments get to you. He probably still thinks you are 6 in his mind. You will love this community!

  4. Barbara, Angela, and Heather thanks for starting my day with an immediate lift!!! I appreciate your support and thoughts.

  5. Linda sent me over. Nice to meet you! I firmly believe having my blog is a form of support. I am going through pre banding right now. Should be a could of months..but I also fully expect the support to continue post band! I look forward to reading more about ya and keep the the positive near to your heart and let the negative comments wash right through. Here's to a healthy beginning!

  6. Welcome Amanda...thanks for your kind wishes...Looking forward to supporting you.

  7. Hi Rachel! Linda sent me too. Sorry about the negativity from your dad. I haven't told mine about the surgery either (even though I had it back in February) because I'm afraid he wouldn't understand. The point is we want our parents to support us and love us, no matter what, but they don't always manage to. Either way I've lost over 85 lbs. in 8 months. You can't argue with results! No regrets! Come by http//

  8. Amanda, I already read your blog...its great and you are great...thanks for following.