One month ago today 9/15/2010, I was banded. The banding is like an allegory of my life. Last month a couple weeks before surgery I got really really depressed. As I changed my eating habits to prepare for the band, I stopped medicating with food. Because I wasn't stuffing down my feelings, I was feeling badly about my body, about my relationship with my sister, my fears about needing to get my thyroid removed and basically every professional failure I had in the last 5 years. I am a perfectionist and when things don't go right, I medicate or used to numb myself with food. After surgery, I started to process these thoughts, sort them out, face them:
1) I changed projects at work and was vocal about the projects I'd like to do. I ended up with a wonderful project that fit my skill sets.
2) I set boundaries with my sister whose messy life I was trying to fix. I came to terms that I can love her but I can't fix her. Only God can.
3) I made peace with the things I haven't done perfectly in the past.
4) I talked to a lot of people, found a wonderful surgeon who explained my biopsy results (I have 3 tumors on my thyroid) and actually explained the process. Believe it or not after 3 visits to 3 specialists, he is the only one who took the time out to explain my biopsy results and the surgery. I also scheduled my surgery.
As I healed from the band, I was also healing mentally as I was addressing the issues in my life versus shoving them down with food. I cried a lot, I felt a lot...it was hard. I also went back to therapy and talked and talked and scheduled my surgery.
Yesterday the day before my one month banding anniversary I realized that my scars were all closed up and healing nicely and that I didn't feel so badly!!!!
Thank God for this band...its healing my body and mind. And I'm also thankful for my follows and blog friends...I am not the blogging type; but in the last couple of days since I started blogging I feel so supported and encouraged.