Anonymity

I'm open and not a particularly paranoid person; but I'm very careful about who I tell about my band.  I think the band, WLS and weight touch on my most vulnerable and sensitive feelings.  Weight is one area in my life where I have NOT succeeded in the past.  It makes me feel lame and so ashamed.

PEOPLE I DIDN'T TELL:

• DAD- I didn't tell my dad and I'm glad because he told me that if I had watched my diet and exercised I wouldn't have to have my thyroid removed.  When he lectured me I realized...wow, I'm glad I didn't tell him.
• MOM-My mom has a hard time with issues that are negative or hard.  I started to tell her once and she cut me off saying that natural weight loss is the best.
• My Younger Sister - I brought up WLS once and she was dismissive.  She has a weight problem but it is just chubbiness caused by being a really great cook.  She is also extremely wealthy so she has the luxury of trainers, food service, pilates, childcare while she works out.  She is nice but doesn't understand.  I told her I'm spending time focusing on my health and she understands and endorses that.
• My Youngest Sister - She is understanding but she has so many of her own issues, she can't give me the time or attention when I need to talk to her.
• People at WORK - NO way...I don't want to feel vulnerable at work except to one friend who is a friend from life too.
• IN LAWS - They are actually very functional and nice people but I don't feel safe going there with them because weight gain/loss is not something they can relate too.  All are very thin and weight conscious.

PEOPLE I TOLD

• Husband - YES...after months of obsessing, I told him and he was so kind and understanding about it.  He said, while he never felt the need to pressure me to lose weight or that anything was wrong with me, he respects my decision.  He said the perfect things.  I married the right person and it is one of my best life decisions.
• Best Friend - YES...She is a size 2, but has struggled with anorexia and bulimia...Different issues, but often the same motivators.  She has recovered and eats healthfully.  She endorses and supports WLS.  She said that WLS is helping by body get to a healthy state.  She has been a savior to me.
• Stacy...friend at work YES - her sister had lap band surgery and lost 100 + lbs and has a new life.  She has been a cheerleader.
• Gloria...friend...YES- she shares her weight issues with me and I trust her 100%
• Carol...friend...YES-she's never been overweight, but she's overcome alot personally and as  a result she has great empathy.

I marvel at people in blogland who have shared so freely with their close circle of friends and family...I'm just not in that place yet.  I don't know that I'll ever be.